During difficult times in our lives, whether it’s personal, a relationship, or because of current or global events, it can make you feel helpless as if you have no control over anything. When conflict shows up that is out of your control, it can feel like you can’t impact positive change, whether on a micro or macro level.
It’s common to struggle with feeling like you can’t help the situation, especially when the issues aren’t in your control. You may even feel guilty or selfish for living your life as usual if terrible things are happening around you. If you feel helpless and don’t know what to do, remember that sacrificing yourself, your time, your well-being, or your mental health is not the solution. You are a good person and if you fall apart, how does that affect your friends, family, and community? If everyone felt helpless and stopped contributing positively, society would collapse. In order to make the world a better place, we have to make sure there are still good people doing good things in our society and communities.
8 Tips to Feel Less Helpless
What are some things you can do to make the world, your community, or your personal life better? Maybe there are things you can work towards that might not help immediately, but can help in the future. What are things you can do that won’t sacrifice your well-being, but can still move the needle in a positive direction? Here are some things you can do to help yourself feel less helpless while making the world a better place.
1. Focus on what is in your control and let go of what you can’t control. It’s a natural reaction to try to hold onto more control when you feel like everything is spinning out of control, but that only intensifies anxiety. In reality, there’s not much we can control. The only things we can control are our behaviors and the thoughts we choose to entertain. Instead of focusing on what you can’t control, realize that you are empowered to influence others and the world directly around you. Read more about letting go of control.
2. Disconnect from social media and over-consuming news. It’s not healthy and it warps your perspective into thinking that the entire world is bad. While there is a lot of negativity in the world, ruminating only feeds into the negativity making it difficult to see what’s positive in the world and what might be positive right in front of you. Don’t feed into negativity and exhaustion and separate yourself from it. Social media and the news are a distraction from working on yourself and making positive change where you can.
3. Don’t get sucked into other people’s rants and ruminations. Have your own opinions and don’t just rely on your family’s, friends’, or the news to sway you one way or the other. People are quick to influence our opinions, so take time to develop your own based on your core values, beliefs, priorities, and goals. Be authentic to yourself. Read more on how to figure out your priorities and values.
4. Avoid things and people that are harmful or toxic to your physical and mental health, whether it is the news, toxic relationships, or unhealthy habits. How you treat yourself is something that is in your control. When you prioritize your well-being, it can make you feel more in control and less helpless. Read more about how to let go of a toxic relationship.
5. Find a positive movement or organization to be a part of. Get involved in an intentional, strategic way that contributes to something greater than yourself. Your contributions don’t have to be grand or monumental. Take ego out of it and do little things – anything – that makes your community or society a better place. Every little step can go a long way to promoting positive change and help you feel like you are making an impact.
6. Practice gratitude. Practicing gratitude, and practicing it through action, can help relieve stress, anxiety, depression, and helplessness by prioritizing what really matters in life. It also helps you focus on all of the good things around you, instead of succumbing to despair.
7. Stop catastrophizing. When we’re faced with unknowns, instability, and uncertainty, it can be easy to slide into spiraling thinking where we falsely tell ourselves everything in the world is bad. But when you do that, you often forget to notice all of the good in the world. In order to protect your mental health and be able to remain a productive, helpful member of society, it’s important to learn how to avoid catastrophic thinking. Read more on how to avoid catastrophizing.
8. Take care of your mental and physical health. Nourishing your mind and body to make a better version of yourself will make the world better. When you are mentally strong and stable, you are able to grow as a person, contribute to positive change by spreading positivity in your community, and be there for other people. Read more on healthy ways to nourish yourself.
You Can Overcome Feeling Helpless
Focusing on the positive aspects of life isn’t selfish. Taking care of yourself and seeing the good in the world can help you contribute positively in your relationships and community. Therapy can help you get out of a depressive and helpless mindset, grow as a person, and make positive change. Dr. Heather Violante provides teletherapy (online video therapy) to adults living in Florida and New York, as well as all PsyPact enrolled states. Contact her online or call (754) 333-1484 to request a HIPAA compliant online therapy session.
Offering Online Therapy Across the Country
I am a licensed psychologist in the states of Florida and New York. Additionally, I have Authority to Practice Interjurisdictional Telepsychology (APIT) from the PSYPACT Commission. I provide telehealth (online video therapy) to adults living in participating PSYPACT states. For a list of current PSYPACT participating states, please visit the PSYPACT website at: https://www.psypact.org/psypactmap.