During the holidays, it’s easy to get caught up in the superficial aspects of the season, such as gift giving and decorating. It’s important to focus on what feels good and what’s right for you and your family. Keep reading for some tips on how to find inner peace during the holidays.
Set Expectations
Think about what you want your holiday season to be like, and communicate that with your family. If you have a significant other, talk to them about your expectations of each other when it comes to gift giving between you, about the kids if you have any, family, and friends. That way no one will be surprised or disappointed because someone spent too much money or felt like they didn’t get enough. If you don’t want to host or attend every holiday party or gathering, you don’t have to. Just be open and honest so others know what to expect.
Don’t Be Hard on Yourself
The holidays are a time for peace and joy, and that includes your own inner peace and happiness. If you are feeling stressed and overwhelmed, reduce how much you are doing and giving to others and focus on your own well-being. It’s important that you don’t self-sacrifice in order to please others. Just do what you can without harming your mental health. Express your needs to your family and friends, and even though they may be disappointed, it’s not your responsibility to manage their emotions. People-pleasing, even during the holidays, can do more harm than good. Lose the guilt and remember to be kind and compassionate to yourself!
Don’t Try to Keep Up with the Joneses
Are you getting swept up in a holiday frenzy? When you compare yourself to what others are doing, whether it’s with how many gifts you buy or how flashy your holiday decorations are, it can make you feel like you need to buy and do more, and it can also damage your self-worth. Before you run out to the stores or go online to shop and throw all of your money away, reflect on what is important to you and what the true meaning is of whatever holiday you celebrate.
Generosity Doesn’t Have a Dollar Amount
It feels good to be generous, but generosity doesn’t just mean how much you spend on other people. Set a reasonable budget for gift-giving and stick to it. Don’t get caught up in the value of the gifts you give others. Generosity can be in the form of a handmade gift, making a phone call, sending a card, or spending time with others. Those are all acts of giving that don’t break the bank. Give what you’re able to afford to give, not because of the amount you spent, but because you want to give that gift. Giving gifts with meaning shows you care and value the relationship and person, not because you are obligated to purchase something for someone.
Do What Feels Right
During the holidays, do what you want, what you’re comfortable with, and what feels right to you. Who do you want to spend the holidays with? Do you have to see everyone in your family or all of your friends? It can be exhausting running around trying to see everyone and juggle everything in a short amount of time. Can you divide up your time and space out get togethers and gatherings over a few months? If you do want to go to every party, limit the amount of time you spend at each place. You don’t have to go to someone’s house for 4 hours if you don’t want to. You are also allowed to have simple, quiet dinners with just your household or a few people. It’s about quality over quantity. Make a plan beforehand and stick to it to help find inner peace.
Give yourself permission to not celebrate because of something that is going on in your life, such as grief and loss. If you are struggling or perhaps grieving, you can be picky about who you’re spending time with. You can also focus on being alone (not isolating yourself) as a form of self-care.
Actually Enjoy the Holiday Season
Sometimes we feel stressed out and overwhelmed during the holidays, but it doesn’t have to be that way! Give yourself permission to prioritize your needs, including seeking mental health care. Therapy can help you figure out your priorities and values, set boundaries, find inner peace, and feel good this holiday season. Dr. Violante provides teletherapy (online video therapy) to adults living in Florida and New York, as well as all PsyPact enrolled states (listed below). Contact her online or call (754) 333-1484 to request a HIPAA compliant teletherapy session.
Offering Online Therapy in 39 States
I am a licensed psychologist in the states of Florida and New York. Additionally, I have Authority to Practice Interjurisdictional Telepsychology (APIT) from the PSYPACT Commission. I provide telehealth (online video therapy) to adults living in the 39 participating PSYPACT states listed below. For a list of current PSYPACT participating states, please visit the PSYPACT website at: https://www.psypact.org/psypactmap.
PsyPact enrolled states:
Alabama, Arizona, Arkansas, Colorado, Commonwealth of the Northern Mariana Islands, Connecticut, Delaware, District of Columbia, Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Illinois, Indiana, Kansas, Kentucky, Maine, Maryland, Michigan, Minnesota, Missouri, Nebraska, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Virginia, Washington, West Virginia, Wisconsin, Wyoming