What Did You Learn During the Pandemic & How Can You Improve Your Life?

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Here’s a guide to help you figure out what is important to you and how you can create the life you want.

(Feel free to print and fill out using this PDF version. It can be a helpful tool to discuss with your therapist.)

1. Reflecting on What You Learned During the Pandemic

What did you learn about:

Your schedule and routine?

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Your personal and social life?

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Your work life and career?

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What’s important to you?

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Who do you want in your life?

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2. What Changes During the Pandemic Improved Your Lifestyle? 

Looking at what you learned during the pandemic, which of those things worked for you and improved your lifestyle when it comes to your:

 

Personal/home life:

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Social life:

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Work life:

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Family:

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Health:

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Travel:

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Are there any changes you made to your life during the pandemic that you want to keep? For example, you may have started getting groceries delivered to you and want to keep doing that. Or maybe you were forced to work from home, but you found you were less productive and want to go back to working in-person. When it comes to social life, maybe you used to go to every single social event you were invited to, but learned during the pandemic that you prefer a less busy schedule.

 

3. Based on what worked for you, what are your values?

Value 1: _________________________________________________________

Value 2: _________________________________________________________

Value 3: _________________________________________________________

Value 4: _________________________________________________________

Value 5: _________________________________________________________

Did you learn that you want to spend more time with your family? Does working from home give you more flexibility (and does that work for you or do you need a strict routine)? Maybe you love to travel, but didn’t realize how important it was to you until you couldn’t do it. When you know what your values are, you are able to prioritize them.

 

4. Set Boundaries in Order to Nurture Your Values

What are specific things you can do to nurture each of the values you listed above?

 

Value 1: _________________________________________________________

Value 2: _________________________________________________________

Value 3: _________________________________________________________

Value 4: _________________________________________________________

Value 5: _________________________________________________________

 

For example, if you learned that having more alone time is something that worked for you and is important to you, a boundary could be to go to less social events. Be specific, such as “go out with friends only once a week”. Another example would be if spending more time with your family is a value of yours, you work less hours - “don’t stay late at the office more than 2 times/week”. But remember to be flexible knowing that you can’t go back to exactly how things were pre-pandemic, nor do you have complete control over every aspect of your life. Find a balance and allow for some flexibility and spontaneity.

 

5. Point of Decision Making

Rank what is most important and what are things you can live without:

Things you must have:

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Things that are flexible or can be tweaked:

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Things you’re OK letting go of:

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Example: Is it the most important thing to you to keep working from home? Or can you do a hybrid of working from home part-time and going to work in-person part time? Or are you OK with letting go of the idea of working from home full-time and returning to work because in the end you love your job and want to increase your socialization at the office? Your answer to this will determine which list it falls under.

 

6. Who do you need to talk to?

 

It’s important to express your needs, values, priorities, and boundaries to the appropriate person/people. This could be your family, friends, boss, etc. Do you need to talk to a therapist to figure out your values and priorities? Sometimes it’s not always clear what you want and need, so a therapist can help you work through it so you can then have the conversation with others.

 

Make a plan to have a conversation. If you need to schedule a meeting, do so. It is important - for your sake! - to speak up so you can have your needs met and live the life YOU want.

 

1. What You Need/What You’re Asking For: ___________________________________

 

Who You Need to Talk To: _________________________________________________

 

Priority level:

Must have

Can be flexible

OK with letting go of

 

2. What You Need/What You’re Asking For: ___________________________________

 

Who You Need to Talk To: _________________________________________________

 

Priority level:

Must have

Can be flexible

OK with letting go of

 

3. What You Need/What You’re Asking For: ___________________________________

 

Who You Need to Talk To: _________________________________________________

 

Priority level:

Must have

Can be flexible

OK with letting go of

 

7. One Month Check-In

 

How did it go with setting boundaries? Making or keeping changes?

 

Notice your feelings. Do you feel guilty or resentful? Have you been feeling more fulfilled? Reflect on the last month and write down some feelings that come to mind regarding your lifestyle and if it aligns with your values:

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What worked?

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Have your priorities and values shifted? Did you previously think something was a must, but you’ve since learned you can let it go? 

Have others been receptive to your needs and changes? If not, here are some questions you can ask yourself:

• Will you consider changing your approach to talking to them, modifying your boundaries, or adjusting your lifestyle? 
• Will you instead focus on your own needs? 
• Have you been clear in stating your needs, values, and priorities?
• Is more effective communication needed? If you are afraid of expressing yourself fearing it will lead to confrontation, check out this past blog post on how to be assertive without being confrontational.

 

If you have done all you can to express what you need in an effective manner, remember that you are not responsible for how others react or their emotions.

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